So kindergarten is a write-off...here's to first grade!

I am sad to share that Jackson did not have a great kindergarten experience this year.  It was rough for us both because his eacher decided on the first day that he was a problem child.  He has his occasional issues of course-but is NOT a troublemaker.  He lives to please!
I was timid and worried that if I spoke up she would just be harder on him so I tried to keep a low profile and now I regret being afraid to speak up.  All year I had a bad vibe that something wasn't right and seemed wrong, but I tried to make those thoughts go away.  Of course, I should know by now not to ignore my intuition!
So I wanted to share, and hope that maybe other parents can take heart and not let fear intimidation stop them from speaking out if something feels wrong, despite no concrete proof-other than a kid who hated school and his mommy's bad vibes!  
I want to share a copy of the letter I just e-mailed to his principal.  All I am still awaiting a reply, but I would love to get some other viewpoints on tis subject!

To explain somewhat, Jackson's original teacher (Ms.B) had to take a leave-of-absence and a sub (Mrs.S) took over the last 8 weeks of class-much to my delight!

Principal G,

Hi, my name is Maryanne Doty. My son Jackson Doty is a kindergartner at your school. His teacher all year was Ms. B and I wanted to share our experience with you.

Jackson and I both had a rough start to the school-year, and Jackson seemed to really struggle all year long in his class until Mrs. S took over due to the unfortunate illness of Ms. B's daughter. I worried about the change because of the bad attitude and negative outlook Jackson has developed over the course of the school year, and because change is harder sometimes for him to handle. I had no need to worry!

We really had a very rough year and I was shocked that my son, who is intelligent, sensitive, sweet and kind was, according to Ms. B, a disruption to class with major discipline issues. I received emails weekly from Ms. B detailing incidents involving my son that seemed to describe a boy I did not know nor had ever personally witnessed. Yes, my son has his bad moments, but I really expected his kindergarten year to be a magical beginning to a wonderful, positive, learning experience. Sadly, until Mrs. S took over, we had a different experience. Jackson hated waking up for school and tried to be sick all the time in order to stay home. But now he wakes up happy and ready to go.

I stopped in recently and thanked Mrs. S for restoring my faith that my son is a normal, smart, active six year old. He is not in need of a medical assessment, as Ms. B once suggested, but actually the normal, sweet boy I always knew he was. He recently told me Mrs S is a nice teacher and he used to think teachers were all mean.

I was intimidated by Ms. B and honestly just tried to be sure not to give her any extra reason to dislike or find fault with my son, but now that we have had an opposite experience, I feel like maybe I should have spoken up earlier about the bad feeling in my gut that, because of personality clashes, my son was being singled out in a negative, unfair way. Jackson even told me before that Ms. B used to make him sit in the safe seat at the beginning of the day without cause. He told me other kids in class would bully or goad him and get him in trouble and she allowed it and always blamed and punished him. He never had a red (great) day until the new teacher-how sad is that?!

Please let me know if this is helpful, or if I am being too sensitive? As a mother new to having children in school I am not sure what to expect or if my feedback is even helpful? I do have records of every email I ever received if they would be of interest. I feel like my son may have been given an unfair, negative introduction to his education and I really want to turn that around for him.

Thanks,
Maryanne Doty

Thursday morning: The usual chaos and destruction!

Today started like every other day. I wake up every day around six am without fail because I urgently need to pee. I sneak to the bathroom and then try to climb back in bed for a few more minutes of rest. Today was no different, and after I snuck back into bed I lightly dozed until I heard Forrest coming. It was about seven am now. Forrest climbed in our bed along with some of his toy puppies, and we snuggled for a while. Around 7:15 we heard Silas calling for us, so we got him and went downstairs. They each ate a pop tart and watched Max and Ruby on Nick Jr. I got their clothes ready and started making Jackson's lunch. He was going on a field trip to Kaleidascope today. I woke him up around 7:50 and he pottied and got dressed.  That was when the day began to sour.
As Jackson left the bathroom I told him to put his pajamas in the dirty clothes pile (2 feet away).  He refused and stomped his feet and was overall very loud and rude.  I told him in a firm tone if he did not do the job he was not going on his field trip. Then I went downstairs to turn off the tv.  I had to argue and convince Forrest to put his underwear on, and next we had a battle about his shorts. He wanted pants but it was already 75 degrees outside and getting hotter.  But I gave in quickly on this-the pants won!

Forrest seemed ready finally to cooperate and began to dress himself. I grabbed Silas-who yelled at me and kicked me as I lay him down to change his diaper and pajamas. He kicked and kicked and screamed and twisted and rolled and arched his back. He also pulled at his clothes and grabbed my hands.  Meanwhile Jackson was still upstairs yelling that he hated this, and didn't understand why I was making him do this awful task.  I told him I was calling the school when I was done with changing Silas to tell them Jack was staying home. Forrest meanwhile was checking to see if his  peepee would fit through the hole in front of his new underwear instead of putting on his shirt and pants.
This is when I made my first wrong move of the day. I slapped Silas on the leg and somehow contorted my leg over his upper body, pinning him to the floor.  I yelled at Forrest to put his privates away because we do not play with them in public areas-which our living room DOES count as.  When I finished wrestling with the manbeastbaby, I stomped upstairs and held the phone to my ear as I pretended to talk to Jackson's school. He stopped some of his protesting, and ignored me while listening.  When he decided I was not bluffing he put the laundry in the basket and went downstairs running from me yelling, "sorry sorry sorry, Mom!"
Jackson had cereal and milk, plus his iron supplement with orange juice. Then he did his Flovent inhalor which is for his asthma. I had finished his lunch and told him to go upstairs, brush his teeth and kiss his sleeping dad goodbye.  I think it was 8:25 by now. School starts at 9:10, but Jackson has to have a strict routine or he gets worked up, so he likes to be at school at 8:40, when breakfast eaters are allowed in early.  Another story is behind the breakfast ordeal....anyway, we needed to get moving so he would be on time and not begin to unravel.

Then I had gear up for another fight with Silas, who had pooped in his clean diaper. Jackson has picked up a book and started to read it and Forrest was crying because he wanted a cake pop.  I changed the mess as fast as I could, cleaned it up and washed my hands.  I took the book away from Jackson,  because he doesn't read-he becomes one with the book and life ceases to exist for him, outside of the book. He cried like a baby as I nudged him towards the stairs.  Finally he went to brush his teeth, and I got shoes on the other two-which was another battler.  Forrest wanted his red ladybug flip-flops which were nowhere to be found. He didn't want his sneakers or sanders or other flip-flops so I told him to go lay down with his dad instead of walking to school.  He settled on another pair of flip-flops (which I despise).  Silas hates socks and of course always copies his brothers so he too wanted some damn flip-flops. Fortunately their were some his size in the shoe box.  Jackson finished saying bye to Dad and put his shoes on agreeable and he nicely double-checked his backpack when I asked him to. We made it out the door at 8:35, perfect! Score one for Mom!
We walked to school with only two tantrums. One from Silas who hates holding my hand.  He hates me because I pick him up every time he lets go of me to run away. If he would walk with me I wouldn't be so insistent, but he runs away as fast as possible every chance he can. The other tantrum came from Forrest, who was rotten by insisting he be in front of us as the leader-three driveways down!   He too almost had to be carried or hold Mommy's hand.
The walk home was easier, and we made it inside!  It was 9:30 am now, and we had some time to kill....

To be continued

Hello, we are still here!!!

Hello!
So, it is January 24 already, and my first post for the new year.  I have no excuse, other than the fact that this little blog is something I do in my free time, and free time is in limited quantities around here!
My little men are growing so fast, it is so fun to watch as they learn, and change, and develop their little personalities.  I figured I would start out with a little update on each of them.

Jackson is loving preschool, every morning when he wakes up he asks "Do I have school today?"  He even reminded me today that he needs to bring back his library book, because today is library day.
Jack and Forrest have been getting along a little better.  They still fight, and I try very hard to stay out of their arguments, because I think they need to learn how to solve their problems on their own, although if they resort to violence I do step in.  Jack is still very particular about things and situations, and tends to melt down when they don't go his way.

Forrest is my poor middle child, and he really is torn in the middle.  He wants to be big, like Jackson and be able to get on a school bus and go wherever it is that Jackson has so much fun at.  At the same time, he sees me baby Silas and he wants to be my baby too.  He is such a sweetheart when you can give him some one-on-one time and he loves to help me do chores.  He is doing well with learning to use the potty, and pretty much stays dry all day, not counting those pesky # 2's!


And last we have Lil' Silas!!  Silas is now 14 months old.  He is so amazing and smart!! He says lots of words, including Mama, Dada, I love you, Jack, and milk to name a few.  He wants to play with his brothers so bad, and they just yell at him and push him, or take toys away from him roughly.  It makes me sad to watch, but I also remember the way it felt to have a younger sibling in the way.  I just need to try to plan a few activities each week that we all do together, and some that are for big boys, and some for kiddos like my sweet  Lil' Silas.

So far this year has been great, I decided that this year is all about my amazing little family, and even rang in the new year with my boys.  They got to drink sparking juice out of champagne glasses, they were so proud.  We toasted the new year at nine pm.  Jackson kept saying, "Happy You Near!!!" 

So I will end this by saying Happy You Near to all 3 of my loyal readers!