The End of a Dream Realized, or Farewell to My Loyal Dog

My Canine Love Story

I should start at the beginning.  I got Chopper in 2002 when he was one year old.  I was living in a little studio apartment, and now that I had my own place I was determined to get a dog.  Ever since I was a young girl I have dreamed of owning a dog.  I spent hours daydreaming about how my dog would follow me anywhere without a leash and do tricks and obey me without falter.  I just KNEW that some day I WOULD have a dog who WOULD be my best friend in the entire world.  When playing house with other children I remember I always wanted to be the dog-not the mom or sister etc.  I always felt that I had a strong understanding of canines and voraciously read any book the library had that involved a dog as a character.  When I got him it only took a day for him to learn that I was his person and he was my dog.  Chopper has always been the sweetest thing in the world, and we formed an amazing bond right away.

My dog was all I had ever imagined and then so much more.  He was my loyal companion and went everywhere with me.  I had some very tolerable friends as they always knew that by inviting me over they also were inviting Chopper.  His impeccable manners made it easier to bring him along wherever I went.  He never had an accident in the house.  In fact, he has been my dog for over ten years now and has never soiled our home-not even once!  Chopper learned basic commands from his first owner, and was also potty trained, so it was easy for me to take it to the next level.  He picked up the new tricks quickly.  His commands expanded from basic sitting and staying to include shaking hands, speaking and growling on command, rolling over, doing spins, dancing and much more.  I delighted in teaching him and showing off his skills to anyone willing to watch us.  He had perfect manners as I mentioned, and never bothered people too much.  After an appropriate greeting of a new person he would not jump or lick or bother them unless they wanted him to.

Chopper was beautiful as a young dog.  I kept his hair longer and he had a topknot that made him look like a perky cheerleader.  He had the best disposition and loved all people and other animals.  I learned about a local non-profit group called Pets for Life that offered Therapy Dog certification classes as well as arranging for the therapy dogs and owners to visit nursing home residents, hospital patients, and even students at school.  I loved this idea and Chopper passed his test the first time we took it, with no prep at all.  He had the perfect calm manner and being a lapdog also helped.  I loved taking him to nursing homes and letting the residents hold him, and hug and pet him.  The residents would open up and talk about their childhood pets  and it was always a very special activity for Chopper and me.  He was a pro and adored all the love and attention, but he never allowed me out of his sight.  If I went to the bathroom he had to come too, or he would whine and pace while waiting for me.

Chopper was my constant companion and he always rode shotgun.  He loved to ride and would stand on my lap so he could reach the window better.  At the gas station his favorite perch was on top of my little Hyundai, surveying the world like the king he was.  We had many years like this together, sharing every adventure.  Chopper always slept at the foot of my bed; he was the best foot-warmer I ever had-until the last 3 years or so.  Poor old guy stopped being able to jump up onto the bed.  I would lift him up and he would stay awhile, but would have to patrol the house every so often-which meant he lost his spot in bed.

Sadly,Chopper began to suffer from some skin allergy problems for about 4 years now. The problems began when we moved to Liberty. A vet was no help, as they wanted me to pay for lab work and skin scrapings and a whole bunch of other tests.  If money was no problem I would have done it all in a heartbeat. However, when your children do not even have health insurance it is hard to rationalize hundreds of dollars of testing on a dog.

So we gave him rotating rounds of benadryl and prednizone. This, along with weekly baths in a antibiotic and anti-fungal shampoo (also costly!) seemed to keep him in decent shape.  He still enjoyed his life, and never failed to be there for EVERY scrap of food that fell on the floor.  He always loved to sit under the baby's high-chair and he also really enjoyed walking Jackson to and from kindergarten twice a day.  As a former therapy dog he must have thought it was his job to greet each person he encountered and the kids loved him to pieces.

He passed away right after Christmas on 12-28-2012.  Taking him to be put down was the HARDEST thing I have done in all 30 years of my life but I knew he had reached the point where his life no longer was enjoyable and pain-free.  As a loving, responsible dog owner I felt it was my duty to ensure he did not suffer in the end.

I want another dog enormously!!! With the 3 little boys however it sadly is going to be put on hold for now...until then I feel that part of my life is incomplete-I really need the comfort and reassurance that only a loyal dog can provide.

Hello, we are still here!!!

Hello!
So, it is January 24 already, and my first post for the new year.  I have no excuse, other than the fact that this little blog is something I do in my free time, and free time is in limited quantities around here!
My little men are growing so fast, it is so fun to watch as they learn, and change, and develop their little personalities.  I figured I would start out with a little update on each of them.

Jackson is loving preschool, every morning when he wakes up he asks "Do I have school today?"  He even reminded me today that he needs to bring back his library book, because today is library day.
Jack and Forrest have been getting along a little better.  They still fight, and I try very hard to stay out of their arguments, because I think they need to learn how to solve their problems on their own, although if they resort to violence I do step in.  Jack is still very particular about things and situations, and tends to melt down when they don't go his way.

Forrest is my poor middle child, and he really is torn in the middle.  He wants to be big, like Jackson and be able to get on a school bus and go wherever it is that Jackson has so much fun at.  At the same time, he sees me baby Silas and he wants to be my baby too.  He is such a sweetheart when you can give him some one-on-one time and he loves to help me do chores.  He is doing well with learning to use the potty, and pretty much stays dry all day, not counting those pesky # 2's!


And last we have Lil' Silas!!  Silas is now 14 months old.  He is so amazing and smart!! He says lots of words, including Mama, Dada, I love you, Jack, and milk to name a few.  He wants to play with his brothers so bad, and they just yell at him and push him, or take toys away from him roughly.  It makes me sad to watch, but I also remember the way it felt to have a younger sibling in the way.  I just need to try to plan a few activities each week that we all do together, and some that are for big boys, and some for kiddos like my sweet  Lil' Silas.

So far this year has been great, I decided that this year is all about my amazing little family, and even rang in the new year with my boys.  They got to drink sparking juice out of champagne glasses, they were so proud.  We toasted the new year at nine pm.  Jackson kept saying, "Happy You Near!!!" 

So I will end this by saying Happy You Near to all 3 of my loyal readers!

My son is worthless after school!

So today was Jack's third day of preschool and it is a big adjustment for all of us.  The main issue is that Jackson is completely exhausted when he gets home. He was put in the afternoon class, so the school bus comes for him around 12:45pm, and he doesn't get home until nearly 5:00pm. I have always had problems with Jackson not getting enough sleep. He stopped napping completely when he was two and it was horrible. He was so tired today after school that he didn't even know which way was up.  He couldn't tell me about class or what he talked about today.  He burst into tears more times than I can count, for ridiculous things like not being the first kid in the bathtub, or when I tried to have a quiet chat with him.  He has a spaz-attack if I touch his arm gently, in an attempt to get him to focus and listen to me.
I hope it is just an adjustment period. I am going to call the school in a few weeks if things don't improve. I can't deal with with the three boys constantly competing and fighting.

***This was typed originally back in December.  I never did remember to post it, I kept thinking I would be able to write a bit more.  An update, Jackson is still pretty much done for the day when he gets off the bus, but we have all gotten used to the new schedule a little bit more, and I have learned he needs to zone out for awhile after school.. I can respect that!! I remember coming home and being immediately engulfed, and it was hard-I would have loved to just get my work clothes off first!! So I am trying to respect that school takes a lot out of my little man, and try to leave him alone to decompress for awhile!

Preschool

Today was my oldest son's first day of preschool.  Last summer, before I lost my job we had enrolled Jackson in a church run preschool, but had to pull him out when our financial situation changed. Our amazing PAT rep helped me with getting Jackson enrolled in our city's school district's Early Childhood Education Center's preschool classes.

So the bus came for him today at 12:50. His class is from 1:20 to 4:20. He was so happy!  When the bus came, he jumped right on and never looked back! I was so sad and happy and proud all at the same time.  The rest of the afternoon for me was very slow and I wondered what he was doing every ten minutes.  The bus was supposed to bring him home at 4:40, but didn't come until 5:10-waiting really sucked because its freezing, and I had Forrest and Silas with me (Matt was already gone to work).  The bus finally came, we walked home and went through the whole "takeoffyourshoesandcoatsandhats" song and dance and finally I got to ask him how school was.

My answer? "Mom, I am just too hungry to talk about it right now."  So after a snack, I asked him what his favorite part about school today was. He told me, "My favorite part was getting on the bus and coming home."    Hmmmmm.

Then he wanted to go play cars upstairs in his bedroom with Forrest so off they went.  In his backpack his teacher wrote a note that he had a good first day. I prodded him about it more during bathtime, and he said they sat on a rug, sang and talked, played, and went outside. He said he got Teddy Grahams and chocolate milk.

Then he told me he had a sore throat and that I probably better take his temperature.  I am not sure what that was about, but I am sure this will be a big adjustment for a little boy who has stayed home with his family all four years of his life.

I will wait and see what tomorrow brings!

Loving Life!

It has been five months since I traded a stressful full-time job at a busy medical office for the joy of staying home with my family and I couldn't be happier.  As each day passes I feel like I am finally doing what I am supposed to do at this point in my life.  After seven years of time, love and tears at the medical office, the change was very scary. Financially the loss of my job meant some severe cutbacks and possibly a future move.

These fears faded away immediately as I began to reacquaint myself with my little family and learn their daytime routines and of course, I finally got to relax! After years of waking up dreading the day ahead, I am awake as soon as I hear Forrest sneaking out of his room to cause trouble, and I am happy to wake up!

Some of the things that I now have time to do are:

*Take my children to the pediatrician for check-ups and also for acute care (without feeling guilty for calling in!) and to specialist appointments for the asthma and allergy doctor

*Find an pediatric dentist, and take each boy to his first ever dental appointment

*Take the boys to WIC appointments (again the missing work issue)

*Clean my house

*Laundry-(I do have to admit putting away the clean laundry is still an ongoing issue)

*Play with my kids! Read to my kids! Snuggle and hug and kiss my kids!! (I did this before but never enough!!)

*Learn about the kitchen, and trying to figure out this whole "cooking" thing. I am so proud, today is the first time in ten years that I made dinner for my husband and he liked it. I think he was even impressed!

*Organize the insane mess and collection of crap that goes along with having three boys (four, if you count Matt)

*Read, and write, and do things that make me happy!!

I was not one of those amazing women who are able to balance a career with motherhood. Props to all of you out there doing it-and more!!

I know that right now I am doing exactly what I should be doing and I have proof. I just have to look at my boys. They have changed so much since I started staying home-they are the best behaved they have ever been! I used to have some discipline problems and I also used to yell non stop after a hard long day at the office. Now I am patient and can take the time to just be in the moment with my darlings and they have just blossomed with all my attention.  My husband won't ever say it, but I know he enjoys having me home more than he ever thought he would!

For me this chance to be home is a dream come true. I don't want to take a single minute of it for granted. I have an amazing family and am so blessed.

The Joy of Reading

Jackson is learning to read. It is so exciting for me as I have a love for reading that some people may call extreme. While in the hospital delivering my second son I read an entire novel. It was glorious to have some time to myself (aside from nurses and doctors) so that I could completely engross myself in my novel of the moment. Ditto with the third son.

Listening to Jack sounding out words is just astounding to me.  He is 4 1/2, and my first son. A few weeks ago during bath time he was studying the baby shampoo and making "ba" sounds. Then he progressed to saying "bab" a few times. Then he was quiet for a few minutes.  From the way his big brown eyes were so focused on the bottle of soap I am pretty sure he did not blink. Then he said "baby!" "Mom it says baby! I was so floored! Jack is so intelligent and I am so proud of him!

He stayed at Grandma's last Friday and on the phone the next day he was trying to spell 'nose'. His way of spelling it was 'noz' and again I was impressed.  When he talks he will get caught up on a word and want to know what letter it starts with. He always guesses correctly. He walks around the house pointing to words asking me "What does this spell Mommy?"

My favorite part is watching how the world seems to be opening up to him, letting him in on some of the grown-up secrets that only reveal them self to a person big enough to be able to read and comprehend what they are reading. 

As I drive I am bombarded with questions about every single store sign, street signs, traffic signs (I am also required to explain various symbols) and advertisements. He is so excited and proud of his blossoming new skill. I am excited too! He starts preschool in a few weeks with our city school district and I am so excited to see what other doors begin to open up for him.

K-Mart

This morning my dad texted me early. He wanted me to bring Jackson and Silas to the grand re-opening of K-Mart. They had drawings, ballon artist, face painting etc. I needed to go to the store pretty urgently since I was out of diapers. Silas actually was wearing a swim diaper left over from summer. I knew I was on borrowed time so we rushed to appear presentable (somewhat) and went to K-Mart. Dad was excited to see us and while I entered some drawings he got Jack a piece of cake and some orange juice. Then we went and stood in line for a balloon. We watched the face-painting while waiting. The girl doing them did awesome designs. When it was Jack's turn for the balloon artist he requested a helicopter which he received. Then my dad had to leave so we walked up front with him. Mr.Blue-Light was up front so Jack and Silas said hello and Dad got some cute pics.

Then we went and got diapers and pull-ups. We went past the attraction area again and Jack saw a table with a craft activity so he got to make a little fall leaf foam character thingy. Then he decided to get his face painted after all and chose Batman. He looked awesome. Then I let him pick out a 99 cent Hot Wheel. We grabbed milk and checked out. They gave us free "green" K-Mart bags and bottles on pop. It was a very exciting trip to the store for the boys.  Forrest was at Mom's, he stayed the night. It was his turn this weekend.

We got home and Jackson told me" I like being a bat but this stuff has got to go." He was having a minor allergic reaction, of course. So I washed his face and had to give him some Benadryl. We then had a nice snuggle on the couch while Silas napped. I dozed a little, it was quite nice. My wonderful mother kept Forrest all day and brought him home after church. Of course, the usual chaos and destruction commenced the moment he walked in the door.  I had a lovely little break last night and today-Jackson, Matt and I even made chocolate chip cookies from scratch this afternoon! Time to rest and be ready for tomorrow!!